Wednesday, February 3, 2010

so it seems

After having a fantastic chat to silence, I think it is a good time to update this page.
As for me. Not much has changed.

Living in a new country, temporarily has defiantly helped me gain a bigger perspective on things. This was supposed to be my year, the year that shall define me and allow me to set goals and see all I can achieve, yet so far all I have gotten is a bunch of separation papers, a snow stain on my shoe and loneliness.

Firstly I would like to address my current situation with silence. You see, as sad as it may seem, our friendship seems a waste. I can not find the words to express this emotion, so ill try and sum it all up. silence has a pretty shit life and needs support. In my opinion, professional. For all of '09, I had seemed to gain the position of emotional dumper.. meaning the person who you would go to too tell all your shit and hope that they can help you through it. What silence didn't know was that I couldn't cope and when it came time for myself to need that support I so gracefully showed, it wasn't there. Selfish huh??
I always said in friendships, you shouldn't need to try and make them work. They should just do it. This is where this relationship went wrong. silence is not a people person. You could say silence lacked social skills for which this is what needed to confront.

On the other hand, some other relationships have seemed to grow. It makes me smile. grumpy has become a rock to me. I feel as though this is one of those friendships that is a good example for my previous definition. You don't need to try. It just happens. This year, grumpy has been through a lot. I feel sorry. It is sad to see such a close friend feel a way for which you cant fix. Yes, I believe I was a dumper but I think when something is reciprocal it is different. I miss grumpy.

Now. as I seem to be on the topic of friendship, I would like to mention my new group. We are called the nacho five. These people consist of jj, spa, captain, mak, myself and polo. Yes, I know, that is six people but unfortunately when the name was created captain wasn't there.
These people are amazing. spa, best described as smart, single and sexy has become so close to me. It would be 3am in the morning and spa would be the person I turn too. spa's bed has become second nature to me and as dirty as that may seem, some very personal, emotional and good conversations have undergone there. Relationship status with mak remains the same. for now and jj has a JOB! haha. Who would have guessed. sorry jj.

must jet, will continue soon.

1 comment:

  1. dearest germany,

    love you loads.
    i'm sorry you're so lonely.
    my bed and i miss you greatly.